I’m having a hard weekend. Too much running myself ragged this week, I think. It always devolves into me feeling like shit on Friday/Saturday/Sunday. Probably, this should translate into me emphasizing self-care more going forward, but I’m having trouble pulling myself out of this pit I’ve dug and jumped in.

I walked away from work yesterday feeling terrible, and cried a lot last night about my failures as a human being. Today I forced myself to email Nearly Unreachable Overseas Former Boss again and to email Supportive College Prof asking them for grad school recs. College Prof replied almost immediately and then I realized I’d misspoken (I needed more from him than I thought/said in my first email), felt like an asshole/bad person, and then spent an hour and a half in agony, avoiding emailing him back to ask for what I actually need. 

I did it, but I still haven’t screwed up enough courage to check my email again and see if he replied in the affirmative (“yes, I can do that for you”).

All of this could have been avoided if I had not avoided the issue, prepared better (not preparing better was a way to avoid the issue) and actually asked for what I needed the first time. It scares the hell out of me to ask anybody for anything, so rather than ask for what I actually need I minimized it, but really made the issue worse because I still need what I need to complete the apps, and I just have to go back on what I said originally and look unorganized. Yay.

A gracefully executed quit is a beautiful thing, opening up more doors than it closes.

peacecorps:

Did you know March is National Reading Month?Reading is definitely one of the more popular leisure activities for Peace Corps Volunteers. What were some of the books you read during your service? Did you bring home any books from your country? How many times did you read War and Peace during your 27 months overseas?

peacecorps:

Did you know March is National Reading Month?

Reading is definitely one of the more popular leisure activities for Peace Corps Volunteers. What were some of the books you read during your service? Did you bring home any books from your country? How many times did you read War and Peace during your 27 months overseas?

The wound is the place where the light enters you.

Rumi

However problematic and unrealistic I thought this show was, there were some awesome moments. Like this one!

(Source: likecharity, via autostraddle)